Wednesday, 12 March 2014

'The Pen'-House'

From the hard times when quills were only present in rooms of writers and men of business, to the days of the ubiquitous biro. Pens have taken the world by storm throughout human history ever since aborigines first acquired that chisel-shaped stone. Though surely, all the writers of the earth since day one will have had a desire to procure for themselves a grand pen, far superior to that which their contemporaries possess. It is a sign of literary power to hold in one’s possession a pen that lets flow only the darkest, thickest of ink. Thus, I leave before you a table. A table containing only the most exquisite of pens that should be sufficient for displaying the incomparable writing ability that is bursting to bleed from your fingertips.
First (moving from left to right in the grid), we have the illustrious Premier Monochrome by parker. Its 18K gold nib plated in black ruthenium creates a strong and easy-flowing ink trail. This pen would allow your hand to move freely across the page with no difficulty. A true master of the writing universe. Not only this, however, but the engraving patterns as finishing touches means that wielding the pen would induce a heavy feeling power into your hand. For, remember, the power is in the hand, not just the head.
Next in line is the Edson from Waterman; a French company, indeed promising elegance and eloquence. The gloriously-rounded ends, including the nib, offer a certainty that you shall have a euphoric writing experience. With its precious resin material and 18k gold nib should surely make its master feel more than comfortable swooping from word-to-word on every last page. The Edson would be perfect for displaying a grand skill that could give even Shakespeare the chills.
Thirdly, a lesser form of grand pens, though grand none-the-less. Gold plates and matt black lacquer assembles, forming a distinctively beautiful design. The nib is malleable enough to mould its own design to fit your own handwriting style. This would, without a doubt, enhance your writing experience every time. This nib is weaker than others (hence why it becomes progressively more suiting to the writer’s holding position) which mean detriment if dropped on its head. Although, it could therefore be easier to shift back into place.
Finally, ladies and gentlemen, have you ever just tried a simplistic, though sublime, quill? Of course, it requires an ink well and is also susceptible to fire, but a feather of any bird would serve as a perfect pen. Though one might require a quill slightly more reliable than a DIY feather. Thus, venture to the online world and purchase a quill with a steel nib – far easier to draw ink from and far stronger than a feather. The quill is a classic and a tool of Shakespeare, so do consider attempting a verse or two with one of these writing implements. Does much more need be said of a quill? Indeed, it does not, and I hereby conclude the article, wishing you adieu and wisdom when making a selection. 

'Reading Recommendations'

Reading is the food of a writer. Reading is what allows us to improve our writing without having to leave our seats and this puts all those that say we can’t improve our writing unless we engage in interactive activities to shame. If you don’t enjoy reading and do not read frequently then are you really a writer? Reader = better writer; remember that.
So, with that said, I’ve worked with Amazon’s best sellers and recommendations to compile my own little list of reads that would help you to improve your writing. It could be so that these tomes of knowledge bear in their leaves some of the best writing styles you’ve ever read and you may well want to learn from these styles. Perhaps the writer was a master of rhetoric and this would allow you to learn more about the technicalities of writing. Accessing the words imprinted within these pages grants you with the ability to write with mastery.
To begin, I have put in first place: ‘Great Expectations’ by Charles Dickens – a personal favourite of mine. It’s a tale of avarice, a mysterious and unanticipated benefactor with a suspiciously substantial amount of money, and unrequited love with a girl that can’t keep her cold heart from expressing its ice. Finally, and undoubtedly, it’s a tale of great expectations. Within, you’ll find much to learn and find confirmation that – as literary humanist theory argues – that literature is, indeed, a reflection of human life/disposition.
Next on the list is an Amazon recommendation – ‘The Magus’ by John Fowles. This book explores the complexities of the human mind in a sublime setting of a Greek Island.
On a completely different page, we have ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ by the one and only Oscar Wilde. This is a story of handsomeness and how it envelops a man. It takes Dorian Gray to levels of excessive pride, which could be deemed his hamartia. Dorian is oft heartless to those who care about him and the story allows us to assess the way in which the reader treats others, and if we find with maltreatment, what can we do about it before we stab a painting of ourselves?
In fourth place, we have ‘The Fault in our Starts’ by John Green. This book revolves around the magic and hope that love can bring to even the bleakest of times. With its plot twists and unpredictability, you can be sure to read this with an endless smile. Though to beware, for some readers have told that John Green’s books portray life in too much of a realistic manner and has ensured people begin to discover the reality of the world in which we live.
Last, we have the grand Shakespeare – all his works are tales that cannot be bettered. Simply because good old Shakespeare is in 5th place, does not mean I regard his works as some of the lesser. In fact, I believe that direct opposite. He is a master and by reading just one of his poems or plays, you are bound to be inspired and will learn endless amounts of magic that will help you develop your writing skill without doubt. 

'Wat Are The Write Rules?'

So, my erm… dear reader, it’s obvious why you’re here. You have an insatiable desire to learn about the rules, otherwise you would have stopped reading at ‘so’.
Truth be, there are no rules. In fact, standard grammar wasn’t even a thing until the 18th century when prescriptivists decided that they wanted to put a ball and chain on language so that we could all learn to ‘properly’ read and write.
And so here we are, though you’re clearly wondering why you’re still here, then, if there are no rules, otherwise you would have stopped reading at ‘and’. However, I will remind you of some grammatical issues that young writers may not have yet managed to work through.

Now, I’m going to take you on an adventure. Now I’m going to take you to wonderland grammarland! Remove thy rear-end from the comfort and the couch, and print your proud foot into the receiving earth. Take your raft. Take your sail. We set forth to a place where the coarse light slithers through the soil. The setting: a jungle adventure on a desolate island in the middle of… well, er, I don’t know – I’m not geographer, but it’s somewhere, okay? That’s what matters – you’re somewhere.

You’re carrying all that equipment too, up to your ankles in sandy grass. All that stuff you’re bearing; I barely know how you can bear it! OH! There’s a grammatical curiosity, indeed, it is!
The only way you can bear bearing your items is because you understand that this word has a definition (as defined by the Collins English Dictionary) of: Bear: /beə/ -vb 1. To support of hold up; sustain & 6. To tolerate or endure.
Though there are many more – 23 to be precise. The dictionary also defines ‘bare’ - /beə/, as: 5. Just sufficient; mere. Again, there are more. I selected these definitions because these are the definitions I associated with the word. You may do as you please using definitions, but  I would avoid using the wrong word with the intended definition.
Anyway, we should probably move forth, but with haste; there is a cliff just up ahead here, though we do need to be on the other side to progress. Way I see it, we’re going to have to splice two ropes and swing on right across! But wait! There’s another grammatical issue – comma splicing. This is where the writer takes two separate sentences and rather than splitting them with a full-stop or semi-colon, they use a flipping comma! And I tell you, friend, it sure vexes me when I see it first-hand. And, heavens, I have seen it first-hand, several times. What’s more is that this repeated offender is an ambassador of maths & science who believes he is a master of writing, when he can write about as much as what I can use telekinesis to move a Krispy Kreme and place it – carefully – in my village. 
An example of comma splicing would be: “The man leaped into the air, we don’t know why”. It just doesn’t work, does it? Replace that comma with a full-stop, semi-colon or a hyphen and you’re conveyed meaning perfectly. Speaking of conveyance, we have made it across!
But stop in your tracks, young one! There is a snake (not really, it’s just an <s>). The only way we can avoid the fury of this little critter is being throwing one of your apostrophes at it; take the proper noun ‘James’, for example. Many wonder whether the possessive apostrophe should go after the <s>, just leaving the word there, or if the possessive apostrophe should be placed after the <s> with another <s> succeeding it. The truth of this matter is really that it doesn’t quite matter. You do what you think is best, for both options are deemed grammatically standard.
Now, I have taken you through the basics of grammatical standardisation, and upon following this advice of which I have issued unto you, you will begin perfecting your technical skills.
Though, we don’t want to be academics, lecturing on the English Language (unless, of course, you do), but we are explorers of language and have now stumbled upon a grand village.
The villagers wish that you will demonstrate your artistry, writing like a true master.
In order to be a master though, you must keep in mind all of which I have already said and use non-standard grammar to write like an artist.
If you look closely, I have been using examples of non-standard grammar throughout, and I will leave it to you to find them in order to enhance your ability to identify. The intention to use non-standard grammar for effect is called enallage, and is used by many grand masters, including T.S. Eliot.
True writing comes from within. Not from what your agent has recommended. Not what you think your audience would enjoy. But what you’re heart tells you to write. Whether or not your audience enjoy it is entirely up to fate, though I can assure you that it would be marvellous if you use the power of standard and non-standard grammar to create art.    

There are countless amounts of literary devices (also known as techniques of rhetoric) and I could spend all day trailing through them with you, but I simply don’t have the will-power. Therefore, to the right you’ll find a handy breakout box with just a few (of which I have already used within this article) of the advanced literary techniques with explanations. Using these would allow you to extend your writing ability even further so that you’ll never be just some runner-up.
Oh, hey! Look! Your plane has arrived and has accidently sliced one of the villagers’ homes with the left wing! “You have a choice to make,” says the captain of the plane, “you can either come home where you’re expected to put all of your technical skills to the test, or you may stay and use non-standard grammar to create art in this wilderness!”

So, what’ll it be?

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Article Plan - 3

Article Planning Sheet – ‘The Pen’-House’
Plan the language use of the primary code of your article in the box below.

Article target audience:


Planning Comments
article genre
(purpose, type)
Again, this article is an article that reviews pens and illustrates the universally unknown truth about how pens can affect our mentality. Therefore, my article is an informative summary/review. The purpose of this article is to prove to writers that by choosing to write with a pen that means something to us (be it because of sentimentality or price), we might find that our writing ability increases. 
Narrative voice
(1st, 2nd or 3rd person)
Like in  my first article, I shall be 1st, 2nd and 3rd person narration simply because I do not wish to limit myself to only writing about either myself, the reader, or another. This way, I may refer to whoever, whenever which would render my article more exciting as the reader will not simply be reading about a single person the entire time.
Register
(informal/formal, colloquial, dialect, taboo words?)
By this point of writing, my article should be incredibly formal. The reason for this is because now I am trying to demonstrate the power of sophisticated, eloquent writing, for I am trying to convince my reader that pens could potentially further a writer’s power to write in this manner. The only way I can make formal writing appealing is by writing the article in such a manner. Thus, no contractions (elision including) will be found within the article, for I am looking to avoid informality completely. Even if I was using taboo words previously, I would definitely want to refrain from doing so now.
Stylistics
(repetition, strong verbs, adjectives, alliteration, similes, metaphors, sentencing, rhythm)
I shall use anadiplosis to increase the significance of my table, to begin with. If I ‘big it-up’ (for lack of a better word), the reader is more likely to appreciate the table. I shall use discourse markers to indicate to the audience what I shall be moving onto next. This will create an article that is easy for my reader to navigate. In addition to this, and in order to further empower my sentences, I shall turn the hypotactic syntax to a higher level. While my article may not be as concise, advanced lexemes can make their way into the writing and my expression will be far more articulate than my first article.
Tone of address
(hectoring, sarcastic, ‘matey’, ironic, etc)
The tone of address of this article will be serious. However, it shall not be deadly serious all of the way through; I shall at first use a slightly humorous tone of voice as I refer back to the older methods of scribing. While I am explaining the power of a pen and while I am essentially selling the pens in the table of the DPS to my reader, I must employ a far more serious tone of address so that my reader can fully understand the meaning behind the article, for I would not wish for my reader to disregard the points I am making about writing because of a consistently humorous tone of address.
Structure and pace
(discourse structure, logical paragraphing, connectives, conclusion)
My discourse structure shall begin with an introduction into the power of pens and how powerful a pen can be if used properly and with the appropriate amount of appreciation. I shall also talk about how my readers’ friends will be envious of them which draws my readers into reading the rest of my article. My first paragraph shall be a description of the power of my first recommended pen. My next paragraph will be a description of pen two and three. Finally, my last paragraph shall be asking the reader to consider the use of a simple quill, for I shall be persuading them to think about the simplicity and elegance of a quill and how that can render a writer more confident about their writing; which shall be my conclusion to the article. I shall leave the reader with a salutation and a wish of good luck in selection.


Article Plan - 2

Article Planning Sheet – ‘Reading Recommendations’
Plan the language use of the primary code of your article in the box below.

Article target audience:


Planning Comments
article genre
(purpose, type)
For my 2nd article, my article will be a summary/review. This is because my article will be an accompaniment to a list of reading recommendations. The purpose of the article is to entice my audience into reading the recommendations in the list I will present to them. Without the accompanying list, the article would merely an advertisement of reading, hoping to either bring to light or to further illustrate the benefits of reading.
Narrative voice
(1st, 2nd or 3rd person)
In order to gain the undivided focus of the reader, I will once again be using 2nd person narration as I can really connect with the reader in a way that makes them feel part of the article. However, I cannot simply just use 2nd person, for I must – at times – use the first person. This will bring the article down to a far more personal level. Overall, with the two narrative voices combined, I will be creating a personal piece that also connects with the audience directly. 
Register
(informal/formal, colloquial, dialect, taboo words?)
Once I have moved onto my 2nd article, I will have shifted the formality so that it is much more formal than my previous article, but not as formal as what my next article needs to be. In order to reach this medium level of formality, I will refrain from using written prosodic features and fillers. However, I will continue to use elision as a form of colloquialism, and this should hopefully enable me to reach a kind of half-way point with the register. Again, understanding that my audience will be local, I will refrain completely from using taboo language. Offensive language could be detrimental to the reader’s appreciation of my magazine.
Stylistics
(repetition, strong verbs, adjectives, alliteration, similes, metaphors, sentencing, rhythm)
I shall use metaphors to show the reader that reading is the food of writers because it allows them to pick up on writing styles that are different to their own.
I shall use imperatives and interrogatives to vary the structure of the sentencing, but while doing this, I must ensure that my syntax is not elongated to the extent where my audience would grow exasperated with reading. Thus I would be using parataxis to concisely convey my ideas. However, this does not necessarily mean that I must be using parataxis at all times; variation is key. This article, would include more of a balance between paratactic and hypotactic syntaxes.
Tone of address
(hectoring, sarcastic, ‘matey’, ironic, etc)
To begin with, the tone of address is incredibly serious which leads the audience into thinking that reading is a subject of great importance. Then, my tone of address will become far more encouraging, as though I desperately want the reader to read these books. With a calm and encouraging tone of address, it may be made far easier for me to convince them that these books are a must for their reading list.
Structure and pace
(discourse structure, logical paragraphing, connectives, conclusion)
The structure of the discourse should begin with my talking about how beneficial it can be for a writer to read. This paragraph must remain short for I do not want my audience to find themselves growing bored because they are just reading about the importance of reading. Then I shall jump straight in to describing my first book and shall work systematically through each of the next 4 books. The first paragraph shall include the importance of reading, while the second will focus on what reading can do for a writer, including a description of the first book. The next paragraph will be shorter and shall mention the second book. The next paragraph will be a description of books three and four, while the last includes book number five and that is where my article will conclude. Because of a limited word count, the pace shall move quite quickly. This is beneficial for the reader though as it would mean they are not reading what seems like an endless article about reading.