'Wat Are The Write Rules?'

So, my erm… dear reader, it’s obvious why you’re here. You have an insatiable desire to learn about the rules, otherwise you would have stopped reading at ‘so’.
Truth be, there are no rules. In fact, standard grammar wasn’t even a thing until the 18^th century when prescriptivists decided that they wanted to put a ball and chain on language so that we could all learn to ‘properly’ read and write.
And so here we are, though you’re clearly wondering why you’re still here, then, if there are no rules, otherwise you would have stopped reading at ‘and’. However, I will remind you of some grammatical issues that young writers may not have yet managed to work through.

Now, I’m going to take you on an adventure. Now I’m going to take you to wonderland grammarland! Remove thy rear-end from the comfort and the couch, and print your proud foot into the receiving earth. Take your raft. Take your sail. We set forth to a place where the coarse light slithers through the soil. The setting: a jungle adventure on a desolate island in the middle of… well, er, I don’t know – I’m not geographer, but it’s somewhere, okay? That’s what matters – you’re somewhere.

You’re carrying all that equipment too, up to your ankles in sandy grass. All that stuff you’re bearing; I barely know how you can bear it! OH! There’s a grammatical curiosity, indeed, it is!
The only way you can bear bearing your items is because you understand that this word has a definition (as defined by the Collins English Dictionary) of: Bear: /beə/ -vb 1. To support of hold up; sustain & 6. To tolerate or endure.
Though there are many more – 23 to be precise. The dictionary also defines ‘bare’ - /beə/, as: 5. Just sufficient; mere. Again, there are more. I selected these definitions because these are the definitions I associated with the word. You may do as you please using definitions, but  I would avoid using the wrong word with the intended definition.
Anyway, we should probably move forth, but with haste; there is a cliff just up ahead here, though we do need to be on the other side to progress. Way I see it, we’re going to have to splice two ropes and swing on right across! But wait! There’s another grammatical issue – comma splicing. This is where the writer takes two separate sentences and rather than splitting them with a full-stop or semi-colon, they use a flipping comma! And I tell you, friend, it sure vexes me when I see it first-hand. And, heavens, I have seen it first-hand, several times. What’s more is that this repeated offender is an ambassador of maths & science who believes he is a master of writing, when he can write about as much as what I can use telekinesis to move a Krispy Kreme and place it – carefully – in my village. 
An example of comma splicing would be: “The man leaped into the air, we don’t know why”. It just doesn’t work, does it? Replace that comma with a full-stop, semi-colon or a hyphen and you’re conveyed meaning perfectly. Speaking of conveyance, we have made it across!
But stop in your tracks, young one! There is a snake (not really, it’s just an <s>). The only way we can avoid the fury of this little critter is being throwing one of your apostrophes at it; take the proper noun ‘James’, for example. Many wonder whether the possessive apostrophe should go after the <s>, just leaving the word there, or if the possessive apostrophe should be placed after the <s> with another <s> succeeding it. The truth of this matter is really that it doesn’t quite matter. You do what you think is best, for both options are deemed grammatically standard.
Now, I have taken you through the basics of grammatical standardisation, and upon following this advice of which I have issued unto you, you will begin perfecting your technical skills.
Though, we don’t want to be academics, lecturing on the English Language (unless, of course, you do), but we are explorers of language and have now stumbled upon a grand village.
The villagers wish that you will demonstrate your artistry, writing like a true master.
In order to be a master though, you must keep in mind all of which I have already said and use non-standard grammar to write like an artist.
If you look closely, I have been using examples of non-standard grammar throughout, and I will leave it to you to find them in order to enhance your ability to identify. The intention to use non-standard grammar for effect is called enallage, and is used by many grand masters, including T.S. Eliot.
True writing comes from within. Not from what your agent has recommended. Not what you think your audience would enjoy. But what you’re heart tells you to write. Whether or not your audience enjoy it is entirely up to fate, though I can assure you that it would be marvellous if you use the power of standard and non-standard grammar to create art.    

There are countless amounts of literary devices (also known as techniques of rhetoric) and I could spend all day trailing through them with you, but I simply don’t have the will-power. Therefore, to the right you’ll find a handy breakout box with just a few (of which I have already used within this article) of the advanced literary techniques with explanations. Using these would allow you to extend your writing ability even further so that you’ll never be just some runner-up.
Oh, hey! Look! Your plane has arrived and has accidently sliced one of the villagers’ homes with the left wing! “You have a choice to make,” says the captain of the plane, “you can either come home where you’re expected to put all of your technical skills to the test, or you may stay and use non-standard grammar to create art in this wilderness!”

So, what’ll it be?